Ben Vs. God

Soooo...... been awhile. Just decided that this guy needs to restart blogging.
Seems fitting that this blog seems to be restarting as I finally make it past Africa. Such an odd thing... The space between my last blog and now seems to have just been emptiness. Right up till last week, I've simply been struggling with making it past Africa and, as God's told me, to "give up the dream of Africa" (His words, not mine). And finally this last week I think I gave up fighting Him with that. Painful, but I need to. He may or may not bring it back in my life, but for now, obviously He doesn't want it to be. So yeah. I'm no longer going to dream of running off to Africa, at least that's the idea. What truly is life about anyways? Is it about going to Africa, aka doing what I want to do, or following God's will? Despite what I'd thought, it's very likely that what started as following God's will and even loving what I was told, turned into simply wanting to do what I wanted to do. BUT, I'm finally coming to terms with this at last. I don't know as that it's been difficult giving up my dream of Africa so much as simply having to give up a dream to be replaced with nothing: giving up my ultimate direction. Though, one logically knows that following God's will is one's general purpose, as a human being, it's difficult to live without specific purpose.
Last week I was "randomly" given a passage which has at last encouraged me enough to do what I've been told, or at least start to:
Isaiah 43:18-19
"But forget all that--it is NOTHING compared to what I Am going to do! For I am about to do a BRAND-NEW thing! See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness for my people to come Home. I will create rivers in the desert."

At last, I've been given a brand-new thing. Though I do not yet see it, He's giving me a pathway: I will be satiated within my desert at last.